The Collective NaNovel

Dear ERNIE:

You’re name is Ernie.  Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie.  Or, if you prefer, your name is Earnest Knutt.  Or you’re even going by Jason Presley, first son (and rightful heir) of Elvis Presley.

Your name is not under any circumstances Eddie.  Eddie simply doesn’t have the same ring to it.  We’ll completely ignore the fact that Eddie means “wealth protector” and you’re the biggest tight wad that I’ve ever met.  Nevermind that.

Your name is Ernie.  Earnest.  And although you’re not terribly serious, I still like it.  I’m the author so you have to do what I say.  I’ve already given into Darla’s little bizarre turn-around with names and now I’m not about to let you go off thinking on your own when you haven’t even made an appearance in this novel yet.  Maybe when you actually start talking I’ll let you think about your name.  But until then, I’ve got bigger fish to fry with Stan and Darla.

Don’t give me this crap.  It’s only day 3.  I will kill you off.  There could be a tragic accident while you’re making fried banana sandwiches.  And wouldn’t that just be terrible?  I’m not above doing evil things to characters who refuse to behave.

Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Your Author