The Collective NaNovel

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”

- Mel Brooks

Ah, what are our stories without our characters? If you know anything about me and NaNoWriMo you will know that characters are where I have the most problems. I am pleased to present to you the cast for this 2009’s Collective NaNovel. I would say that they are presented in no particular order, but I’m pretty sure that if I did that they would start fighting amongst themselves immediately… so I shall simply refrain from making any comments whatsoever except their introductions:

Stan Knutt
Protagonist / Antagonist

The Basics
Height: Tall, about 6′2″
Build: Wirey
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Dark Brown… nearly black really
Facial Hair: Skinny “pedophile” type mustache

Wow! Nothing like being noncommittal right off the bat there, huh, Stan? That’s right, you read it correctly. Stan’s our Protagonist and our Antagonist. Stan is essentially the voice of the story. Stan is the dude singing the Bartender Song.

More Stuff About Stan
Stan has come from an unprivileged background, to put it nicely. He grew up around trailer parks mostly. He has one older brother named Ernie (we’ll get to him in a minute), and tragically (or maybe not tragically) the brothers are all they have left.

Stan’s been in and out of trouble for years. He’s just that kind of guy. If Trouble doesn’t find him first, Stan starts to get worried and runs around looking for Trouble. Stan’s got some anger issues, which I’m sure we’ll need to explore with him, and he’s your chronic repeat offender. I’m not sure that Stan even really knows how to function “on the outside.” Now don’t get me wrong, Stan’s not into any of your hardened criminal type stuff… he’s just a guy who likes to have fun. And sometimes it’s at the expense of the local Sheriff’s office.

If it weren’t for his brother Ernie, Stan would be lost when it comes to employment. Luckily, though, Ernie looks out for Stan. Stan always knows there will be a job waiting for him at “The King & Me Pawn Shop.”

Darlene Hinkley
Protagonist / Antagonist
AKA Angel Bell

The Basics
Height: Moderately tall, maybe 5′5″ but she’s got legs that go a mile
Build: Slightly less athletic than she’d like to think she was
Eye Color: blue eyes… penetrating blue eyes
Hair Color / Style: Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a girl the color of her hair? Anyway, Darlene / Angel has forgotten long ago… she just knows that it’s Revlon ColorSilk #73 (Champagne Blonde), and just for a minute it was Revlon ColorSilk #45 (Bright Auburn). Typically, it’s ben treated with a home-perm type lotion.

Ooops, there I go again, being non-committal about my character’s status in the novel. Yes, again, Darlene / Angel Bell is a Protagonist and an Antagonist. I feel I will regret greatly that I cannot make up my mind as this will probably play out in long hours of redeveloping her character in one way or another. Anyway, Darlene / Angel Bell is the “She” who Stan talks about in his song.

More Stuff About Darlene / Angel Bell
I guess first thing’s first… what’s with the AKA? Well, Darlene is a stripper. But only by night! In fact, she’d prefer that I didn’t tell people that she’s a stripper, it can really sully a girl’s reputation you know!

In addition to being a stripper (albeit an undercover one but still a rather good one), Darlene / Angel Bell is a compulsive liar. Except because she’s been a compulsive liar for as long as she can remember (and perhaps she’s lying to herself about that?) she’s not particularly good with keeping up with all her lies. Hiding the fact that she’s a stripper is only complicated by the fact that she can hardly remember what day it is, let alone what story she told whom. She keeps her money on her body at all times (what better storage location than right between the breasts?) and just out of habit will ceremoniously remove a tight roll and peel off a few ones to pay for her McD’s Sweet Tea.

Darlene / Angel Bell has it bad for Stan… real bad. But sometimes a girl’s gotta stick up for herself!

Oh, and she drives a Chevy Nova… or at least, she used to.

Ernie / Ernest Knutt
Supporting Character

The Basics
Height: Tall, about 6′2″ (maybe a hair shorter than his brother, but that could be the thinning hair)
Build: Well-fed (that’s a nice way of saying on the chunky side, right?)
Eye Color: Green, in fact, the EXACT same green that his brother has
Hair Color: Dark Brown… nearly black really… what’s left of it
Facial Hair: none, unless you count the gigantic Elvis like chops on the sides of his face.

Ernie is straight up your typical supporting character. Do you hear that, Ernie?? SUPPORTING CHARACTER!!! (Aside: If you’re wondering why I’m yelling, I’m making sure that Ernie heard me that he’s just a supporting character. Sometimes we have issues with mutiny and takeover)

The only thing that Ernie has going for him is the fact that he owns “The King & Me Pawn Shop.” Ernie, like Stan, had a misspent youth but he was able to clean up his act and find something other than petty theft and vandalism that sparked his fire. The buying of others treasures for massively less than they’re worth and reselling them at astronomical prices. Well, that and his pursuit to convince the world that he’s Elvis Presley’s rightful heir.

Gail Ballard
Minor / Supporting Character

Dare I even really mention Dearest Gail in our line-up of characters? I do so only because there’s a possibility that she could emerge from the ruble of this story-line to play a much more major role. At the moment, however, she is only a minor (supporting, at best) character. In fact, I don’t think we really have any basics fleshed out for her.

Here’s her basic deal:
She’s ran around in Stan’s little “gang” since they were young. She’s the token “bad girl” amongst a group of guys. She goes everywhere and does everything with them to prove her worth. And the kicker is she usually does it better, faster, and stronger than most of the guys. Too bad she’s also Darlene / Angel Bell’s arch nemesis.

She and Darlene / Angel Bell are constantly at odds for one reason or another. Most often they’re in this tragic battle to the death over Angel Bell’s secret stripper life. Well, that and Stan because everyone knows that though she’ll deny it until her dying day, Gail loves Stan.

Moe The Bartender
Supporting Character

The Basics
Height: Medium
Build: Hugely Massive
Hair Color: Bald

Moe’s the bartender. Though, Moe wasn’t always a bartender. He used to be military, as evidenced by several large military-like tattoos that adorn his massive forearms. Moe’s a good listener and observer, but he simply doesn’t stand for any rabble rousers in his bar. He doesn’t talk much and he’s probably in his mid-late 40s though no one will actually ask him because they’re kind of afraid of what he might say.

Moe doesn’t like to talk about his military career, he simply “had a bad experience” at one point. Sadly, it left Moe crippled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and got caught up in the whole red tape that the VA requires to adequately determine that a need exists for them to pay out. Distancing himself from the military he opened his bar and swore never to discuss the matter again. Though, he still often will slip a free beer to fellow men in uniform in thanks for serving their country.